My father (now deceased) was a man whom I love, but very frankly spent most of my life feeling sorry for himself. He spent his later years reliving his past (which he remembered fondly) rather than living in the present. I do not remember him ever working, meaning he (we) were on public assistance for as long as I have memory. Every month was the same, the check came in the first of the month and the first place he went was the liquor store. We would eat out once a month, go to the grocery once a month, pay the rent, utilities, and then were broke the rest of the month.
So what lessons did I take from this:
- Being broke sucks… that is blunt but the truth. We depended on someone else to provide us a meager living, they determined what we ate, what we wore, everything about our lifestyle. My brother and I had to work for any money we had… picking up soda bottles for their deposits, shoveled snow during the winter, going to the store for others for cash. The fact that we were broke taught us the value of work, our income was determined by us (how much time and how hard we worked).
- Money mentors are invaluable… for me it was my sister and brother-in-law. We went to their home in the suburbs about once a month, and to us they were rich. They had a brick home in a subdivision, two cars, a dog, a fenced in yard, and they always took us out to eat when we came to visit. What they taught me was that it was possible for me to escape the poverty cycle that I was surrounded by at home, they did it so could I. Although they never sat down and told me this, it was something caught rather than being taught.
- Memories are great but we must live in the present… because if we live and act as if the best of times are gone forever then we have no hope for a better future. Even though my dad had health issues, there was no reason he could not have done better, but he gave up and settled. Whenever we give up working to make our life, the lives of those around us, those watching us… better, than we are slowly dying. Physically, emotionally, and financially. We should be making memories, not reliving them.
Dave
God on Money 